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I made a noise somewhere between an ‘urughghgh’ and ‘bleaaagh!’ and immediately used my immense super-strength to tear at the intestines. But the intestines refused to budge. I blinked. Then I swore, heatedly. “Fiddlesticks!” My shapeshifting powers were all focused on keeping the Beast from consuming my body in a massive wave of red spores. No shifting? No super-strength. No ability to become a kitten either!“Uuuuh!” Blackheart opened his mouth, his face going purplish gray underneath his bristly black beard.“Uh, one second!” I said, then focused, creating my psi-sword. “I’m going to cut the intestines off from your neck with an extremely accurate sword swing!” I nodded, gripping my psi-swords hilt, readying myself.That was when the stomach sack dropped from the ceiling, wrapped itself around the upper half of my head, and started to dump zombie stomach acid down the back of my shirt. I started to flail. “Auuuuuuuugh!” My psi-sword whirred and vrred as it cut through the air and I. I completely forgot about that. I was planning on taking Amber out and then getting drunk somewhere. She was my hot Jewish girl side-project. I just wanted to tug on her curly hair while I disappeared my cock into her plump round ass. I was really horny when I asked her out and I still was, but I had to go through with the Zee thing. I've put this off too long and this finally my chance to talk to her with an academic reason covering up baser desires. "Yo Corey, I'll tell you what man," I said, "how about I text Amber and tell her I have shit to do tonight, which I do, and she can go out with you instead." Fuck man, you mean it? I've always wanted to fuck her, but I knew you had your sights on her next. Thanks brother!" Corey said."No problem man, just promise me that you'll tell me all about that ass," I said to him, for good measure. "For fuckin' sure!" He patted me on the shoulder firmly and then took off with a big smile. Corey, you're an absolute asshole, dumber than a bag of.
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